


Dottie's HP Headcanons

by dottie_wan_kenobi



Series: Harry Potter (series) Fics [13]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Essays, Gen, Headcanon, Not Fic, The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black, ig??? this is just me flinging my thoughts into the void
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-29
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:35:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26712301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dottie_wan_kenobi/pseuds/dottie_wan_kenobi
Summary: A dumping ground for headcanons, thoughts, and rants.1) Peter Pettigrew's Canon Characterization2) Fics I'll Never Write: Black Family + Soulmate AU
Series: Harry Potter (series) Fics [13]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1799116
Comments: 3
Kudos: 14





	1. Peter Pettigrew Canon Characterization

**Author's Note:**

> me at 4 am: hey good time to post amiright  
> disclaimer my thoughts might change as I think more about stuff. this is all meant to be fun anyway
> 
> anyway. JKR and all terfs and transphobes can get fucked. u are not welcome here bye.

In this essay-like rant, I’m going to discuss Peter Pettigrew’s canon characterization by examining how the sources we learn about him from are biased in different ways, finding what we can reasonably accept as true, and bringing up questions we’re left with.

Before I start, I have to admit that I’m not a huge fan of Snape and generally interpret the Marauders in a kinder way than they probably deserve. However, for this I’m going to attempt my best to be as unbiased myself as possible.

I’m going to mostly focus on Peter before he was a spy, however I will touch on his time as Scabbers and his time after.

**BIASED SOURCES:**

We mostly learn about Peter from Before from 3 different sources: the Three Broomsticks scene in _Prisoner of Azkaban_ (POA), Sirius and Remus also in POA, and in Snape’s flashbacks. I’m going to explain here what we learn from each source, and how they’re biased:

  1. In the Three Broomsticks, we learn about him mainly from McGonagall and Fudge. 
    1. McGonagall says that Peter hero-worshipped James and Sirius. She describes him as “stupid” and “foolish” and says he was “hopeless at dueling”, firmly putting him and his skills at a lower level than his friends’s. She knew him personally—she was his Head of House—and therefore this is based on first-hand knowledge, but she’s also looking back at the situation tearfully, regretfully. She perhaps sees him as someone she couldn’t save, someone who didn’t deserve the painful death she believes he went through. In her eyes, he’s a hero who died too soon, too young. 
    2. Fudge, however, did not know Peter personally. His interactions began and ended with Peter’s “death”, which was clearly traumatizing to him (he says he still has nightmares about it). His insights are speculation, based on false beliefs and trauma—he says Peter was “maddened by grief” over the Potters’s deaths. He sees Peter as a brave young man who died heroically, who deserves the Order of Merlin, First Class that he was awarded. I also believe that he looks at Peter with some amount of pity and/or condescension, as he calls him “little Peter Pettigrew”. 
      1. It’s worth noting here that his feelings on Sirius are VERY strong, and VERY negative—he fully, truly believes that Sirius is guilty, that Sirius is the one who caused his trauma. He doesn’t entertain the idea, later, that Sirius is innocent for a second. I’m not sure how this speaks to the intensity of his feelings about Peter, but it’s fair to say that Fudge is most likely fully convinced of Peter’s innocence.
  2. From Sirius and Remus, we learn…very different things. But the three of them share a very long, emotional history: close friends from age 11 to 21, Remus then spent the next twelve years believing Peter was dead and most likely looking back on him with fondness, grief, and the belief that he was brave and heroic to the end. Meanwhile, Sirius spent that time utterly alone, suffering horribly from Peter’s actions. In this scene, Remus is just learning that Peter was alive the whole time, while Sirius is finally able to confront the man who betrayed him and ruined his life. 
    1. Let’s look at Remus first. He describes Peter in conjunction with the other two as: “great friend[s]” who found out his secret and stuck by his side, as well as being “young, thoughtless, [and] clever”. But he singles Peter out to say that Peter “needed all the help he could get from James and Sirius.” He’s calmer in this situation than Sirius is, but definitely not happy with Peter. He clearly looks more positively on the Peter that he knew, and describes the idea of faking his own death “So simple… so brilliant….” 
      1. I’m naturally inclined to believe that’s less biased here because I love Remus. But realistically, his views are colored with nostalgia of the good old times (thus making them positively biased), and his calmness in the moment is probably the result of the rest of the situation being so fraught, as well as the fact that he’s not very reactive.
    2. Then we have Sirius. Sirius is VERY angry in this scene—rightfully so—and lashes out at Peter, especially after Peter once again accuses Sirius of being the spy. He claims that Peter “liked [having] big friends who’d look after [him]”, and called Peter a “weak, talentless thing” with a “miserable life”. It’s likely that he’s spent all these years obsessing over his friendship with Peter, having little else to do—and this would be compounded heavily by the Dementors, making everything seem bleak. These words are meant to hurt, and they are obviously negatively biased. 
  3. Through Snape’s flashbacks, we learn about how Peter interacted with the Marauders. It’s important to note while analyzing this scene that our two narrators (Snape and Harry) are understandably negatively biased: Snape hated the Marauders, and Harry only knows Peter as the man who got his parents killed and is working for Voldemort. 
    1. I would argue that the memory itself is at least slightly altered due to several factors: it has been some time since the situation happened; bad memories tend to stick out in the mind; and that coupled with the fact that Snape was a teenager when this happened would lead to the emotions being higher, especially considering they were negative ones (embarrassment and loathing). Details, therefore, are possibly exaggerated to one extreme or another.
    2. While these memories are more focused on James and Sirius, Peter is present, and he is shown as being anxious (especially concerning school work), worshipping of James, and not actively participating in the bullying but certainly not taking any steps to stop it—rather, he laughs along with the rest of the crowd. Harry describes the hero worshipping as being embarrassing and annoying, and wonders “why James didn’t tell Wormtail to get a grip on himself”. This scene—and Harry’s thoughts over top of it—doesn't make Peter seem like much.



**WHAT WE CAN REASONABLY ACCEPT AS TRUE:**

Across the board, we see just a few traits stay the same:

  1. Peter was anxious, especially about school work and exams. He wasn’t as (generally) talented as James and Sirius, needing their help. 
    1. I would go a step further than this and say that, taking into account how Peter acts from the reveal scene on, he’s pretty emotional as well. While he’s only described as crying once—when confronting Sirius before faking his death—he’s certainly shown crying, weeping, sobbing, and more in just about every single scene he’s in, starting with the reveal in POA.
  2. He’s a follower rather a leader. He first follows James and Sirius (but mostly James), and then Voldemort, all of whom are confident and charismatic.
  3. The idea of Peter being brave is expounded by his false death, however, he WAS a Gryffindor. 
    1. I also find that there’s a bit of a scale here, with some (like McGonagall) truly believing he was brave, then with others like Fudge and Remus doubting it a bit—not that he wasn’t brave at all, but probably that he wasn’t often brave—and then Sirius, Snape, and Harry clearly believing he wasn’t.



**QUESTIONS WE’RE LEFT WITH:**

From this, I’m left wondering:

  1. How talented and clever was Peter actually? 
    1. This is a bit contested—while he’s basically always described as less talented and bad at school, it’s also shown that Peter is…definitely not inept. Remus describes him as clever, while Sirius says Peter “got the better of [him]”, which is telling considering how intelligent Sirius is.
    2. It’s also important to note that he successfully faked his own death TWICE, and that his frame job of Sirius worked very well (obviously helped along by the Ministry’s incompetence but the point stands).
    3. Keep in mind: McGonagall says he wasn’t _as_ talented—not that he wasn’t talented at all—and that when Sirius calls him “talentless”, he’s speaking emotionally rather than objectively.
  2. Just how good at lying WAS he? How often did he lie? 
    1. Clearly, he was able to hide things. While there are different ways he could’ve hid his being the spy—by seeing less of his friends, by having help from the Death Eaters, from simply being able to keep it hidden—he successfully went undercover for a year without anyone knowing. 
    2. He lies to protect himself. We see that in POA when he continues to cling to and push the narrative that he was innocent. He doesn't do well in this scene at making himself seem believable, but he has just been forced to shift back into his human form by his old friends.
  3. Was he ever actually, truly friends with James, Sirius, and Remus? 
    1. Remus and McGonagall truly believe so, however Sirius and Harry do not.
    2. James did as well—he wouldn’t trust just anyone with the livelihood of not only himself, but his wife and child. I don’t believe Sirius’s word would have been enough to sway him alone. Why would he make Peter Secret Keeper if he didn’t trust him? 
  4. Was he actually scared of Voldemort? 
    1. He uses this as an excuse for why he switched sides. But it’s worth exploring if it was ever true, and if it ever changed.
  5. BONUS QUESTION: Why did he protect Ron? 
    1. In _Sorcerer’s Stone_ , Peter-as-Scabbers bites the finger of Goyle in order to protect Ron.
    2. I find it very interesting that he did this. As Scabbers, he was seen as (and expected to be) nothing more than a fat, lazy pet getting up in age. But then he bit that finger. Was it possibly because Ron was another leader figure for him to hold onto? 



**Notes for the Chapter:**

> coming up soone,,, how he fits in with the Marauders as a whole
> 
> if u have any thoughts one way or another I'd love to hear them


	2. Fics I'll Never Write: Black Family + Soulmate AU

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo this isn't the other part of the Peter meta I said I was gonna post. That's still coming! Eventually :sweat_smile: but for now I offer you, 2.5k of not!fic / sorta meta. I am really really fascinated by the Black Family so there'll probably be more content for them here at some point!
> 
> Warnings for this chap: minor mentions of incest (Orion/Walburga). blood prejudice and bullying are discussed as well (especially in Draco's part!)
> 
> Ships (in order):   
> Orion/Walburga, Alphard/OMC, Lucretia/Ignatius Weasley,   
> Bellatrix and Voldemort (rom or platonic not specified), Andromeda/Ted, mentioned Narcissa/OC + Narcissa/Lucius,   
> Sirius and James / Remus (rom or platonic not specified), Regulus and OC (rom or platonic not specified),   
> Tonks and Charlie (platonic) + Tonks/Remus,   
> Draco/Harry + Draco/Hermione + Draco/Others (I gave thoughts for different options)  
> Teddy and OC
> 
> *Feel free to insert character of your choice into the OC spots!!

Imagine an AU where soulmates exist, and the whole situation comes from a spell (whether someone did it mistakenly or purposefully doesn’t really matter, but I personally like the idea that it was done purposefully and _spitefully_ by someone in the Black family who had been disowned for loving a Muggle-born of half-blood). 

The way it works is that your own personal magic has a mate out there that works just right with yours—like, they’re totally compatible, maybe you can use your soulmate’s wand and vice versa. For some reason, purebloods often get paired up with halfbloods or Muggle-borns (which is where that spite would come in). And the Blacks, due to this mixing of blood, refuse to entertain the idea of soulmates at all. While other kids in the Magical world grow up wondering who their match might be, the Blacks grow up to revile this so-called albatross. Some of them can break through the brainwashing and some can’t. 

I think some of society would pity them for this view, but other families of the same status would of course adopt this same outlook. It becomes part of the Death Eater ideology, to reject the idea of soulmates. 

For the mechanics of it, I’m imagining there’s no mark, it’s more of a feeling or some magical display when your magicks meet for the first time? Similar to when a wand chooses you. It _feels_ right.

Specific thoughts:

  * I really like the idea that Walburga and/or Orion meet their soulmates (around the same time if it’s both of them) and that’s what inspires the marriage of cousins. Bc maybe at that point, society dictates that if you’re unmarried when you find your soulmate, you _have_ to marry them. And they can’t— _won’t!_ —sully the family name like that. They’re good purebloods and even better Blacks. Which means their best option is... a cousin. And neither are happy about it but at least they won’t be stuck with anyone less than pure, right? Right. 
    * I’m interested in the idea that the soulmate(s) attempt to speak to them or be part of their lives somehow. Obviously they’d be shut down hard but I think any soulmate of Walburga’s especially wouldn’t be someone who just lays down and takes a rejection like this. 
  * I want Alphard to have a soulmate who’s a guy, and who is kept a secret from his family. Idk if I want the soulmate to be a Muggle-born or (the son of?) a squib or something, but I like the thought that Alphard Feels the magical indication and tells this man who doesn’t know a thing about soulmates, “we’re soulmates and we’re fated to be in each other’s lives” and having to prove it. Lots of potential there 
    * I love the idea that they have a whole separate Muggle life—idk if that’s OOC or whatever, but the idea of Alphard going from being this posh aristocratic Confirmed Bachelor and then shedding that mask and going to be with the love of his life in this home that’s so totally opposite of what he’s supposed to stand for. It’s so good.
  * Lucretia Black being Ignatius Weasley’s soulmate. They’re both purebloods, so it _should_ be okay, but it’s not really. At this point it’s moral principle that Blacks do not deal with their soulmates. Lucretia isn’t disowned for this, but I think it’d definitely be something the rest of the family talks about in mocking/ashamed/disgusted whispers. (Meanwhile, on the flip side the Weasleys see it as another love-match, of which most of their relationships are made up.)
  * I’m very very curious about the thought of Bellatrix and Voldemort being soulmates. Romantic or not, it’s so interesting?? She’d grow up staunchly hating her soulmate for having “muddy blood”, and she’d marry a good pureblooded boy like she’s supposed to. But then it’s _him_. I don’t know Bellatrix’s characterization well enough to say more but questions I have are: Would she grapple with this at all? Would she decide, well if it’s him it’s okay because he knows what’s best for purebloods? 
  * Andromeda and Ted are perfect for this. Andromeda having some prejudices to get over, because even if she grew up able to tell it was all stupid, she was still raised in that environment and she’d have to unlearn things. I like the idea that as time goes on, the less guilty she feels being with him. 
    * “How could anyone hate this?” She asks, basking in him, in his scent and the way their magic—a combined entity while they’re tangled together like this—sings in the air.
  * Narcissa has a soulmate who isn’t Lucius, and she met them once. Maybe it’s a girl she met on her one and only trip to Beauxbatons (they were thinking about sending her there, but the Meeting happened and her parents changed their minds right there). Maybe it was a boy she met on vacation to some other Magical City/Country. Maybe it was someone she bumped into on Diagon Alley on accident. It’s just some... person she’ll never meet again, she’ll never know. I don’t know if she buys into the No Soulmates thing. But I do think she’d always have a question in the back of her mind, what if’s that’ll never be answered. 
    * I have this image in my head where it’s like, this thing that would be life changing for anyone else is cut short. They meet and Narcissa barely has a minute to think before her parents or Bellatrix or someone is pulling her away. And she’s a good pureblood, a better Black, so she turns her back and doesn’t let herself look over her shoulder. During the negotiations with the Malfoys, she explains she has met her soulmate but they mean nothing to her and they’re no threat to this marriage. 
    * Basically just, never giving herself even a moment to think about it.
    * And then during the war, when she’s so terrified for Draco, it almost becomes a relief. To wonder about them and what became of them. To look in the faces of the Death Eaters around her and not see that face she knew for only minutes at best ~20 years ago.
  * Sirius having either James or Remus as his soulmate and consistently defying his family by loving him. He would hide it from his family definitely, but I almost wonder if he’d try to hide it from everyone else too, at least for a little while until he sees it’s just hurting them both and it’s _wrong_ to hurt his soulmate/hide himself/care what his family thinks. Even in that situation, I don’t know if he’d still be secretive and protective of the connection, or if he’d flaunt it like “see how happy I am without you?” 
    * If it’s James. I think he’d be more inclined to show off their connection, he never had any trouble with that before anyway right? So finally revealing that they’re soulmates probably wouldn’t change much in that regard. 
      * What if he feels the moment James dies, feels the magic connection between them disappear? And the absence is so much louder than it ever was when it was still there.
      * On a happier note, James’s parents would have even more reason to pseudo-adopt him now lol
    * If it’s Remus. I feel like Sirius’s Animagus form being a dog adds another layer to it, like how James = stag, Lily = doe. Buuuut I also think he’d be more inclined to hide it if it’s Remus. The important people would know, but it’d be a cold day in hell before Walburga ever ever found out.
  * Regulus!!!! I really like the idea that his soulmate is a student in his year at Hogwarts. and I like the idea that this person tries so hard to.... be there for him, or get through to him, or anything. 
    * and in an angst world, I don't want it to work—I want Regulus to have another regret on his shoulders as he dies, thinking about his soulmate and wondering what could've been. I want them to give up on him in school, because honestly it's PAINFUL being rejected and hurt over and over again, no one can blame them...... except themselves. "if only I'd tried harder. if only I'd stuck around longer. if only, then maybe he'd be alive right now."
    * in a happier world, I want Regulus to finally crack. maybe what happens is that they tell him like, "everyone else is so happy and proud of their soulmates. but I have tried over and over and over again to get you to even be CIVIL with me and it's not working, and I realized I need to just accept that." so they give up on him, and instead of sending him spiraling further into despair/Death Eater arms, it motivates him to worm his way into their heart. and with that support, things end up differently for him
  * Tonks grows up totally different from both of her parents. She 1) knows what soulmates are unlike Ted, and 2) isn’t told any propaganda about how awful they are. I really like the thought that she’s kind of like… “if it happens, awesome! If it doesn’t, cool that’s fine too” (but still holds out hope that if she MUST have a pureblooded soulmate, that they’re not a prick). I also think that she’d have this attitude, maybe based on society? (bc if might be a common thought that people have to change themselves for their soulmates) where she’s like “my soulmate will like/love me for who I am, I won’t change myself to fit them better.” 
    * I like the thought of her soulmate being Charlie Weasley? Because he’s a pureblood, he’s not a dick, and most importantly, he would feel the same way as her. I HC, as many do, that Charlie is ace and/or aro, so if they’re soulmates then they could both just be themselves and be secure in the knowledge that this is someone who fully accepts them for who they are and won’t judge them for it.
    * If it’s Remus,,, I like that they’d both be half-bloods, breaking the norm. And I think the idea that they could be themselves with each other would work here too—Tonks would take her own desires in the relationship (to be accepted) and see it reflected in him, and they’d have to work on it like in canon but it could be so great.
  * Draco with his nose up and his Superior Blood being the worst little shit about all of this. He fully, truly believes that his soulmate is inferior to him—it’s what’s taught to him, either on its own or in conjunction with the idea that Malfoys are just better than everyone else. I think he’d be pretty naive about it honestly? Like he thinks people who feel the same as he does are Correct and people like the Weasleys who revere soulmates are Pathetic and Wrong, and I also think that he would be fully convinced his whole family (bar the blood traitors) feel the same way he does. Finding out about Bellatrix and Voldemort would be shocking and it’d be part of him having to unlearn things, I think. 
    * Idc who his soulmate is really but I do have thoughts for a few options:
    * If it’s Harry. 
      * I love the idea that they figure it out in Madam Malkin’s when they’re 11 years old. Harry, I think, would scramble out of there freaking out, having NO IDEA what just happened. Meanwhile Draco is in there like…, “oh well nevermind then I don’t deal with scum like that” or whatever the hell. THEN HE FINDS OUT HE’S HARRY POTTER and I want him to have the briefest flicker of doubt. Surely Harry Potter would be an acceptable soulmate, right? But then they actually speak to each other and his mind goes right back to nope nope nope lmao. Draco might tell his parents?? But his friends wouldn’t know, I think.
      * I can’t decide if Harry tells Hagrid what happened or not (he would bc what if he’s defective?? Hagrid should know so that he can take him back to the Dursleys, right?? But he _wouldn’t_ because that was scary and he doesn’t _want_ to go back home). I also can’t decide if Harry would tell his friends (if he doesn’t know it’s a soulmate thing, I don’t know how or why he would? But if he does, would he want to commiserate with them that _Malfoy’s_ his soulmate?).
      * Harry following Draco around angrily, and their magic trying to mix and both of them furiously pulling it in, and Draco unlearning everything and realizing…it’s too late (except it’s NOT but he doesn’t know that)
    * If it’s Hermione. 
      * IT WOULD MAKE EVERYTHING 500X WORSE. The bullying and the hatred Draco had for Muggle-borns would be exacerbated. “This is who I was meant for? This is what the universe or fate or magic thinks I belong with?” He’d ask himself, and her, and absolutely everyone who would listen. Hermione, who just learned about soulmates and had maybe a tiny little itty bit of hope inside her about it, would be so fucking angry. She would throw it back in his face but I mean,, she’s gonna come out of this hurt worse than he is.
      * The implications of the torture scene and what their magicks might do 1) in such close proximity and 2) under such stress and 3) after seven years of never/rarely touching. Bellatrix would lose her SHIT if she found out they were soulmates.
      * I do want them to be able to have a happy ending but there’d be a long long road to forgiveness they’d have to take there. I think they could do it though, and I think the first time they really let their magic mingle, it’d leave them both breathless like this is what they were waiting for. I like the idea that they wait to let it happen until they’re on better terms, so it can stand out more positively
    * If it’s Blaise or Pansy or any other Slytherin. 
      * I…think their relationship would be really unhealthy lmao, like I could see Draco deciding “well… they’re a Slytherin pureblood so maybe it’s okay” and getting into a relationship, but until Draco got past the idea that he was superior…. It wouldn’t be good. Manipulation on both sides, ya know?
  * Finally, Teddy. I’m really interested in the thought that Teddy’s soulmate is a pureblood??? Bc Teddy would be so proud, I think, of his half-blood heritage, and he’d be raised by Andromeda and Harry, who would both definitely value love and companionship and being your authentic self. I really like the idea that his soulmate is this person who’s more reserved, who might’ve been raised believing in soulmates but has reservations or something. And he’s able to open their shell a bit, while still getting to have and keep the things he values.



**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I didn't talk about everyone but this is just who I had thoughts for :fingerguns:
> 
> If you have any thoughts/comments/etc on anything, I'd love to hear them! I am...bad at reply to comments but it'd be really cool to see what y'all think <3

**Author's Note:**

> you can find me on tumblr at [dottie-wan-kenobi](https://dottie-wan-kenobi.tumblr.com).


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